DanceswithwordsI Hate Rowers
August 9th 2011 04:00
A Roman gladiator gatekeeper
Waits in the doorframe shadows
In the front doorway of a Ponsonby Flat
The sole reason for the queue
Some real characters danced in the pathway that waited up the stairs
I was Captain America!
Complete with stretched tight swimming cap
With black Nikko Block letter kick-ass capital ‘A’
Blue Gumboots on special, red fishnet leggings and underpants over the top
Just like Superman in drag
My flowing cape was a full sized American flag
Lou Reed and I surveyed the problem with precision
I raised an arm and I flew past Bob Dylan towards the door
I hovered for a moment then raised a question to the dark, balanced on one foot
To that thing blocking out the interior lights and the sun
He rose from the shadows of Grey Lynn
Nuzzled at his side was this nurse in stockings
If she was crafted from alabaster then he was surely bronzed
I looked all the way up to his mighty face
Head of rowing at my old school and stroked himself into the Olympics
He reached out and just effortlessly plucked me into mid air
Eye level. Mano eh Mano.
He smiled the largest dental bill I’d ever seen
The nurse was gushing perhaps ready to give me the thumbs down
In the mighty hands of a Gladiator I raised my bathing cap
He instantly recognised me
You may pass me side on even though it will be quite the squeeze
I was so glad Roman gladiators didn’t have telepathic powers like I did
Cause if he’d of known how much the whole time I was thinking
That “I hate rowers” and his little crack in the plaster
He’d have sent me to my maker instantly
The Avengers would have appeared from inside
To fancy dress his arse off my expired comic book hero
Long live Captain America and God bless
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